"Next time you get pulled over, could you pull off the road, please, ma'am?"

I was pulled over the other day.
Just for an expired registration.
however, I am choosing to call it the Saga With The Nice Officer.
briefly,
When the officer (his name was Silvestriz, I did not get a first name) came to my car, he asked, "next time you get pulled over, could you pull into a parking lot, ma'am??" This was funny moment #1.
I know cops get really agitated if you do not pull over right away, after they target you. That is partly why I made the decision to stop on the road. The other reason is that I see police cars and officers ALL THE TIME that are parked in awkward ways, obstructing traffic. Or I see officers that are having a nonchalant discussion in the middle of chaotic and very fast moving traffic. Since I was pulled to the side on a very low traffic road, I did not think he would mind...
After I sat in dramatic suspense for what felt like 2 hours in 100 degree heat in my car, officer Silvestriz returned and said "I'm giving you a citation, but I'm going to tell you how to get out of it." This was funny moment #2. (NOTE: He did explain how to get out of it, but he seemed a little blurry on some of the details).

I pleaded, "Can't you just give me a warning?" But Silvestriz noted, "THERE ARE NO WARNINGS IN DALLAS." At this point I looked at his Tazer Gun. Hmmmmmmmmmmm, I did not GET THE MEMO on that one.

There was a strange moment at the end where I didn't know whether to say "thank you" for telling me how to get out of the ticket, or just drive off in a heat stricken state. So I mumbled, "thanks."
I leave you with a commentary on a very weird e-mail I received today. The address listed at the bottom was a marketing place in Carson City, Nevada. The following was in the subject line:
"Have you suffered DVT, PE or Stroke while using Birth Control?" (Wow, those are all really serious! ... I'd better call my lawyer ASAP... but wait, if I'm dead from a pulmonary embolism , I guess I can't call. RATS.)

"Rev. Run" from Run DMC's son is a rapper. I have just been "notified" of this today. Here is his disturbing picture (Diggy Simmons):

He is like 11, or something close to that. I will let YOU decide if you want to download the latest album. But do NOT tell me about it...
yours UN-WARMLY,

Alice

(n.d.h.)